Sunday, May 02, 2004

I would like a shirt. A black shirt, with white print on it. There need only be two things on it. First, the word zealot in easily readable text on the front. Second, a simple cross on the back, spread across the shoulders.

I aspire to an intelligent sort of zealotry. A sort of ecstatic focus that sharpens, rather than muddles the mind. Focus that builds discipline, knowledge, and strength. Mmm. That would be neat.

At present, I'm merely busy. That is to say, in a state of buzzing between tasks, watching deadlines loom closer and closer, forcing me to prioritize one project only to neglect another. Procrastination is much to blame, and though I have a few excuses, none of them are truly worth mentioning. The word "nonsense" comes to mind, in regards to both my excuses, and many of the items on my schedule. It's not that my schedule is full of meaningless things. It's just not sensical that they're all mashed onto the same schedule.

As others have noted, this is going to be a good month for change, and I am no exception. God willing, I will soon have a near-ideal job working for my Dad, will have moved out of the house, and will have much more time on my hands. How much do I hope that will happen? Hoo, boy.

I have a lot to be thankful for, in the meantime. Honest, candid discussions with my friends... much needed, to be sure. Glad they're happening. I'm really glad that Cody came to church with me this morning. I pray that he'll find what he really needs.

I've had Nightwish's "Beauty of the Beast" stuck in my head for two days, and I don't really mind.

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