Monday, June 14, 2004

When it all goes down, this is what you might just hear in the background. I present to you, under the guise of DJ Razorclown, Let it All Fall: The Soundtrack to the Apocalypse.

1) Creed - Torn [I needn't defend myself for liking this band.]
2) Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony - For Whom the Bell Tolls
3) Silverchair and Vitro - Spawn
4) Stabbing Westward - Falls Apart
5) System of a Down - Jet Pilot
6) Rage Against the Machine - Ashes in the Fall
7) P.O.D. - Bullet the Blue Sky
8) Tool - Aenima
9) Evanescence - My Last Breath
10) Rammstein - Mein Herz Brennt
11) Nightwish - End of All Hope
12) Killswitch Engage - World Ablaze
13) Dogwood - Everything Dies in Time
14) Soundgarden - Mailman
15) Powerman 5000 - Supernova Goes Pop
16) System of a Down - Toxicity
17) Killswitch Engage - When Darkness Falls
18) [11 seconds of silence]
19) [twist ending]

Track 19 is a song I love, which reminds us what happens at the very end.

No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I'm clinging
Since love is Lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing?

-Enya, "How Can I Keep From Singing?"

As I create CDs, I notice certain songs sneaking their way back into the mix. Favorites of mine, usually very mood-enducing. "Ashes in the Fall" is one of those, as are "Supernova Goes Pop" and "Mein Herz Brennt." All are effectively dramatic in their way, which I like in a song. The first is ideal for stirring up raw aggression and rage (no surprise). The second capitalizes on an infectious guitar riff and undeniable forward momentum. The last is simply apocalyptic.

Rock to the last.

As Jesus was leaving the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher! What massive stones! What magnificent buildings!"
"Do you see all these great buildings?" replied Jesus. "Not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down."

-Mark 13:1-2

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Killswitch Engage is an absolutely amazing band. Inspirational lyrics presented in hardcore style - screamed over hammering guitars. A thing of beauty to be sure. I've just picked up their The End of Heartache. Just what I needed.

Been having a tough time just recently. Kinda feels like rats chewing on my guts at intervals. Been craving a deep interpersonal connection recently... and having one, actually. But the craving continues. Unfortunate.

I worry too much about my friends who are dating. I've seen so many relationships blow up and hurt all involved, and now I shudder when people I know start romances. A sad state of affairs, as it were.

From time to time, I remember that worrying is harmful and useless. I have to keep reminding myself, though. Problem is that the gnawing in my gut is part worry and part jealousy. What a bizarre state. And it's been hitting me pretty hard.

But it will pass soon enough. In the meantime... well, everything is going well. Very well. I'm blessed with my new house, new job, good friends, and all else.

(Seek me) for comfort
(Call me) for solace
(I'll be waiting) for the end of my broken heart.

-Killswitch Engage, "The End of Heartache"

Monday, June 07, 2004

It's been a week here at my new house. It's taken an effort to refer to "my Mom's house" as such, and the room full of my stuff here in Carolyn's house as mine. Since Dad's been busy, I've been on an extended vacation since I quit working at Corti Brothers. Still trying to find the balance between spending time with Carolyn and making a general nuisance of myself. Just too tempting to make my way across the house to a friend's place when it's right there. May take a little time to get the dynamic just right, but things are going smoothly enough. I'm very grateful.

God has provided well for me, to be sure. A room with cheap rent, opportunites to talk to my friends, a job with Dad... gotta love it. And time. I've finally taken the time to read the Bible and pray in the mornings. Makes quite a difference; offers the day something of a frame of reference. There's always something relevant, something valuable, in the Bible.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Anyone trying to call me would do well to call Carolyn's house, since that's where I live now. Moved yesterday. Anyone who needs the number should e-mail me.

For anyone for whom this is news, hi. How ya doing? I moved. The rent Carolyn's mom offered me was too good to pass up, and the house is in a great location. And Carolyn is just across the house, so I get an older sister. Two months older, but all the same. I think this whole arrangement is going to be quite a blessing.