Saturday, February 28, 2009


Sometimes, I feel old for 25.

In stark contrast to a few years ago, there's only one night a week I can reasonably stay up past midnight - Friday, as you might have guessed - and given the option, I often don't.  I've never been a morning person, and I doubt I ever will be, but I have made it work for some time, now.

I was recently part of a discussion about the difference between health and fitness.  To be healthy, the way we typically think of it, is really just to be not-sick.  To be fit is something else altogether, and I can definitely feel the difference.  I'm not dramatically out of shape, but I'm no athlete, either.  Years behind various desks with very minimal exercise in my off hours have seen to that.  One flight of stairs, and my pulse races.  Ten minutes at Sky High, and I need a breather.

I can feel my friendships changing, maybe maturing.  At least, shifting into a more adult mode; that is to say, more occasional.  I just don't see my friends as much as I did in my early college years.  We're all dividing our time between work, school, and at least one other obligation aside from hangout time.  It's normal, but to me, it still seems like a relatively new normal.

I'm getting a sense that I'm entering a time of my life when expectations on me are rising, because of both my age, and my circumstances.  I'm now on staff at my church.  I'm an "analyst" at my day job.  I have more opportunities to make decisions that carry weight.  For whatever reason, that idea also seems relatively novel.

I'm in that odd stage when others, older co-workers especially, alternately treat me like a peer and a youngster.  I still remind women in their forties of their sons, it turns out.  People my parents' age are just now starting to see what my generation is capable of, and some are pretty impressed.  The usual conversation starts out with how easily we pick up technology, then rounds out with how many of us return home in debt.

I've been described as having an "old soul," but I still have some youthful habits and attitudes.  Through it all, my identity is slowly starting to settle.  It can be difficult to accurately track the process from the inside.  If you've got some insight as to how I've changed in recent years, feel free to chime in.

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