There are a few careers that I would really like to have.

1) Fight coreographer. How awesome would that be? I could get paid to tell guys when and where to hit each other, then make them do flips and run on walls. They might let me play on the wires, too, so then I could run on walls. He, he, he.

2) Consultant for cable documentaries. You've seen these people, with their name at the bottom of the screen next to "Root Beer Expert" or "Klezmer Music Fan." Cash for sitting in front of a camera and pretending to be knowledgable. Of course, there are a few things I am actually qualified to speak about: gimme "Roleplaying Conniseur" or "One-Eyed." Then sign the check. Mwahahahaha.

3) Mattress tester. Oh, come on. You know they exist. But they probably have to do more paperwork than I'd like to think.

4) Greeting card writer. I think up one liners on a constant basis. It's only logical that I should write some of them down and sell them to Hallmark so you can sign them in the car on the way to the party and hand them to the host so they'll think you're clever and thoughtful. That sounded more cynical than it should have.

Note that "video game tester" is not on the list. That's because carpal tunnel sucks, and I want to keep what eyesight I've got.
Today's attempt at wit was inspired by the humor of Lore Sjoberg. Check out his ratings of just about everything.

Semper fi, and carry on.