Whippersnapper

Sometimes, I feel old for 25.

In stark contrast to a few years ago, there's only one night a week I can reasonably stay up past midnight - Friday, as you might have guessed - and given the option, I often don't.  I've never been a morning person, and I doubt I ever will be, but I have made it work for some time, now.

I was recently part of a discussion about the difference between health and fitness.  To be healthy, the way we typically think of it, is really just to be not-sick.  To be fit is something else altogether, and I can definitely feel the difference.  I'm not dramatically out of shape, but I'm no athlete, either.  Years behind various desks with very minimal exercise in my off hours have seen to that.  One flight of stairs, and my pulse races.  Ten minutes at Sky High, and I need a breather.

I can feel my friendships changing, maybe maturing.  At least, shifting into a more adult mode; that is to say, more occasional.  I just don't see my friends as much as I did in my early college years.  We're all dividing our time between work, school, and at least one other obligation aside from hangout time.  It's normal, but to me, it still seems like a relatively new normal.

I'm getting a sense that I'm entering a time of my life when expectations on me are rising, because of both my age, and my circumstances.  I'm now on staff at my church.  I'm an "analyst" at my day job.  I have more opportunities to make decisions that carry weight.  For whatever reason, that idea also seems relatively novel.

I'm in that odd stage when others, older co-workers especially, alternately treat me like a peer and a youngster.  I still remind women in their forties of their sons, it turns out.  People my parents' age are just now starting to see what my generation is capable of, and some are pretty impressed.  The usual conversation starts out with how easily we pick up technology, then rounds out with how many of us return home in debt.

I've been described as having an "old soul," but I still have some youthful habits and attitudes.  Through it all, my identity is slowly starting to settle.  It can be difficult to accurately track the process from the inside.  If you've got some insight as to how I've changed in recent years, feel free to chime in.

Changeover

Today is a tangle of different responsiilities. It's my last day in Human Resources, and it's payday, and there are checks to hand out. One of many responsibilities that will no longer be mine in a scant few hours. Who will handle them is, in many cases, a large hovering question mark.

Tomorrow, I start in the Training Section, where I will occasionally make decisions and use my creativity. On the job. Weird. I'll also get to practice teaching and communicating with technology. It's a pretty amazing opportunity. I can almost hear God chuckling to Himself.

I'm also going to be taking on more responsibilities at church, which are no less exciting. Some teaching, some tech stuff, some other duties as required. Sorry. HR reference. I'm glad for all these chances to serve.

Which are going to lead to me being pretty busy. In addition to all the aforementioned stuff, I've got another ministry class coming up at the end of February. As I recently observed on Twitter, I'm getting to the point that I'm going to have to schedule all my time, both work and play.

Generally, I prefer when I don't have to abide by a strict schedule. I prefer to have free time as often as possible, and in the past, I've gotten depressed when I've had a lot to do at one time, even if it's all good stuff. More and more, though, that's changing. I'm learning how limited time is, and where my priorities are. I'm trying to convince my friends to schedule a weekly time to get together and play games, because if we don't, it probably won't happen.

I'm learning that in the end, leisure isn't a right. Free time is a misnomer. It always costs something. That's not a bad thing. It just means we need to examine our priorities, and evaluate those things we commit ourselves to.

Then, really commit.

Gaining Light

A beautiful start to the day. Doesn't hurt that it's Friday.

I've known for some time that I'm called to be selfless, not to worry, and to live life to the full, rather than with a spirit of fear. I tend toward perfectionism, though. Funny how much anxiety that generates, how much fear of your own rejection, and simultaneous judgment of others.

Yeah, I'm ready to move on. And I've been making solid progress. I'll be spending a lot of time in Romans 8, I think.

The Week Begins

Part of my usual walk from my blocks-distant parking spot to Chocolate Fish before work. At the coffee shop, I read the Bible and journal. During the walk in, I pray. Took a bit of my own advice today and was more deliberate in my prayers; more careful to worship along with my requests and troubles.

This morning, at least, it made the difference between overexaggerating my few problems and starting the day with peace and, of all things, optimism.

Multimedia message

I'm gonna attempt an actual blog post from my phone. Here goes.

Here I sit at Chocolate Fish Coffee once again. My plan to skip coffee a couple days a week is a go so far, but as you can see, I've lost the added benefit of saving money by picking up an iced white tea instead. On one hand, the tea is really tasty, and I'd rather not just mooch my favorite coffee shop's patio without buying something. On the other, I still need to grow my financial discipline. And every other kind, really.

It's doing me a lot of good to get outside. I'm expecting a scholarly paper on the horrible effects of fluorescent lights on the human soul to come out within the next few years. It's nice to emerge from the right-angled world of HR - gray with a few scant decorations. Whether I'm talking about the office or the profession, I'll leave to you.

Lately, I've been wishing I could write poetry. Whenever I try... hmm. It seems I'm out of room for text. Well, now I know. More soon, methinks.

Spaceboy

Birthday card given to me by a coworker. I think she gets me.

More cubicle art.

Surrealist? Absurdist? I dunno.

HR slice of life

Sometimes my status board has some zen to it.

Paper clip sculpture. This does not necessarily suggest in much time i have on my hands.

Power issues. Early day. Huzzah.

Da.

There have been a few comings and goings in HR lately. To say the least.

Halloween in HR

For some odd reason, there's been this running bee motif in human resources, where I work. I guess it's all been building up to this.

The cute little red riding hood in the picture is a coworker's daughter. Aww.

Sometimes we have snacks. Yeah.

For once, I have an excuse for not posting recently. Ironically enough, that reason is also a good occasion for a blog post. And thus, once again, I'm left without a defense.

I started working full-time at JPlus Architects last Tuesday. It's quite an adjustment to go from relative idleness to getting up at 6 am and working over eight hours... and loving it. My time feels more precious now, which I greatly appreciate. I know I've done something in a given day, though I have much to learn about my craft.

God continues to bless. Life is good.

More to come soon!